Secrets

Jon doesn’t want anyone to know yet. He’s planning on telling everyone right around July 4th. I’m just so excited that I really don’t want to keep it a secret. Why should it have to be a secret??

I wish he could just understand how excited I am. It seemed that, with both of our little guys, the excitement wasn’t much there. With Elias, there was that fear that Jon would be deployed, so any excitement that may have been there ended up being quashed by the fear. With Noah, I was so overwhelmed with having another one so soon after having Elias, that there was not much excitement to be had. Not to mention the fact that Jon seemed very easily irritated and agitated, so much so that for awhile I really thought he didn’t want another baby. So, again, no excitement there. This one is different. Yes, the timing is bad, but overall, things are good. I’m excited!! I remember being a little excited – and terrified – when I was pregnant with Ceili Fey. I like that feeling. That’s the kind of feeling that should surround pregnancy, not dread or fear.

Edited to add: This was not published on 6/5, even though it was written prior.