I truly hate this. For the past few weeks, I have been having a very difficult time getting to sleep. I lie down with the full intention – and desire – to sleep, but it remains quite elusive. Instead, I’m burdened with thoughts. Lots and lots of thoughts. They just keep coming, no sooner am I able to resolve one, then another one comes. And if there’s something I forgot to do that I should have, I will obsess on it. And I find weird things to obsess on as well. Lately I have this bizarre fear that someone will come into our house and kill us all. Yeah, I know! Where the FUCK does that come from??
I just can’t make the thoughts stop – I want a way to turn them off. I noticed them a bit more as the weather became warmer, but then I wound up being without my meds for a week or two and they got much worse. Luckily I got a few weeks worth of pills so I’m safe/sane for a little while now. LOL!
I just wish I could go to bed and turn off like I’m sure the rest of the world does. It’s so exhausting. Here it is nearing 1:00 am and I’m wide awake. I actually got out of bed because, rather than obsessing over something I forgot to do, I opted to get up and do it.
I really just want it to stop.