On grieving

Here are some funny things about grief. There’s nothing “normal” about it. It’s frequently ugly, and never is it tied up with a pretty bow. No matter how badly you want it to be. That’s hard on both the one suffering from a loss as well as those who interact with that person because the ones interacting are frequently – though not always – made very uncomfortable by the grief-stricken person.

Grieving people do so differently. You probably won’t grieve the same way I do and vice versa. And, guess what? That’s okay, too. I’ll let you in on a little secret here and it’s that you only think you know how you’d grieve in another’s circumstance.

The death of a child catapults a parent or parents into a totally different world. Everything is the same, yet different.

As long as you’re not harming yourself or others, there’s no wrong way to grieve. None.

One thought on “On grieving”

  1. I was just having this discussion with a group of people at Hospice House where my friend was transferred yesterday after a long battle with cancer. Someone there commented how she felt my friends children would have regrets due to how they were acting. Her youngest daughter was her usual, bubbly, cheerful self giving people tours of the place. People expect people to be crying and upset when grieving and when people don’t I think it is hard for some to accept. My friend has remained positive throughout her ordeal and has fought to focus on healing herself and not discuss the reality that she was dying as she wanted to fight to stay so hard. I think her children will be fine and they have had access to people to help them through this time. The family has had two years to work through this and they know their Mom would want them to have cherished their time together and to celebrate her life.

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