I just don’t know what to say…

I think I just pissed a friend of mine off. She was discussing (via text message) her cousin who is pregnant. Now, this girl (the cousin) got pregnant at the age of 17, almost 18. She kept the baby. I think the father was a deadbeat, but I couldn’t swear to it, it’s been several years now. Anyway, I remarked surprise at the girl’s pregnancy. I asked if it was at least the same guy. My friend replied that it was the girl’s fiance – different guy, I guess. Anyway, my friend then proceeded to tell me that the girl has had four abortions. What. The. Fuck. Seriously? Four of them? After the first one or two the girl couldn’t figure out what caused it? Could she not drive her sorry self down to the local clinic to get on birth control?? Last time I checked, birth control at Planned Parenthood is a helluva lot cheaper than an abortion.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m actually pro-choice. I’m for a woman’s right to choose what goes on with her body. That doesn’t mean I agree with what she does with it, however. Yes, I’ll fight for your right to have an abortion, but I’ll be damned if I’ll give you kudos for doing so.

Anyway, I asked if the girl was keeping this baby. My friend replied that “I said it was her fiancee” as though, somehow, that might make a difference for a girl who has had four abortions. I couldn’t help it. I fired back that if she killed four babies, why would I just automatically assume she wanted another. Mean, maybe. And, I don’t think I made my friend very happy. I can’t help it, I’m a mouthy broad. I say what I think. Sometimes it gets me in trouble.

Hopefully after a few days my friend will talk to me again. The fact that my statement offended her though, means that she must think it’s okay. The fact that she thinks it’s okay… I’m not sure if I care if she does talk to me again.

4 thoughts on “I just don’t know what to say…”

  1. I think it was a valid question for you to ask your friend.When I lived in California I met a woman that had one live son and I kidd you not had 8 abortions all the while she was married. Married, engaged, or single when a person has made up their mind that they don't want another child I would assume that(relationship status) really doesn't matter.Much Luv,Karen

  2. I see where u are coming from, but I wouldn't assume she thinks her cousins actions are OK just because she was offended. I really hate when people refer to abortion as baby-killing, and people who get them baby killers. So while I think this woman is an idiot who needs to be smacked, and also probably to be sterilized, I wouldn't get into the highly charged baby-killer language of the anti-abortion crowd.

  3. Karen: Eight? Wow. That just seems so… well, excessive seems like such an understatement. It just seems to me like birth control would be so much easier, but what do I know? lol

  4. Pouncer: My friend and I spoke about it later. She did admit that she doesn't think it's right either but there's not much she can say or do about it. Yeah, you're right on the language. It's difficult to me because, as one who has had miscarriages before, to me that is a baby. I spent a period of time mourning the losses. There was even a time that I contemplated getting an abortion due to some issues in my own life. I did not do so, but to me, I just don't see how anyone could find that a trivial decision enough to have multiple abortions. But, I digress. You're right. I should not have worded it the way I did. It was more of a knee-jerk reaction than anything else. When next we speak, I will tell her I should not have been so harsh.

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