I don’t like Mondays

This morning was bad.

By the time I got the little guys pinned down and changed, it was too late to have time to fix breakfast for Ceili Fey. I told her that she would need to eat breakfast at school and that she needed to get ready to catch the bus. She went to the front room to grab the satchel that she has been carrying since receiving it for her birthday in March. I called after her that she would need to take her backpack instead of the satchel, and that she needed to dump the things from her Daisy Scout camp day from her backpack. That’s where things went straight to hell.

Over the next several minutes, she would inform me that she was not taking her backpack, cross her ams, glare at me, refuse to do what I told her… Finally, I reached a conclusion in my own mind. I won’t lie, my first instinct was to charge after her. I didn’t though. I decided to give her another opportunity. I stated that the bus was going to be here and that she needed to do what she was told. She then informed me that she had put her school folder into her backpack. I then stated that she had not removed the other things from her backpack. She again refused. I walked back into the kitchen, making the distance between us greater, when I informed her that the bus would be here soon. Again, refusal. Immediately after this, the bus went by. I then said, “There went your last chance.” The meltdown ensued. I’ll spare you the details, but I sent her to her room. I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. I had had enough.

I got the little guys’ breakfast ready before calling to her to see if she wanted to eat breakfast. After she finished, I told her to go back upstairs to her room.

I know that when Jon gets home, he will be none too happy.

The best part, however, was when I spoke to my mother on the phone a little while ago. I told her what happened this morning. She reminded me that today was supposed to be the surprise baby shower for the teacher. My mother actually thought that I should take Ceili Fey to school after lunch to attend. SERIOUSLY????? Hey, why should I even bother correcting Ceili Fey. I should just let her do whatever she wants, to hell with anyone else, right?? Wow, just wow. I have no words. I’m so frustrated and irritated. I don’t quite understand what is wrong with my mother that she thinks I should just go back on things like that. What I really need is for her to actually be supportive of me and my parenting decisions. Why is that too much to ask? I have enough to deal with on a regular basis without having my parenting second-guessed.

I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. This is the same kinda crap she did with me when I was younger. She would ground me to the house/yard, but I was still allowed to have friends over. She rarely, if ever, actually stuck to any punishment, allowing me to do pretty much whatever I wanted. There was never any accountablity, no responsibility. *sigh*

I feel really bad saying this but sometimes I just wish we didn’t live so close to her. On the other hand, I think living away from her would very adversely affect her. Sometimes it’s as though she lives only for my daughter. It’s a bit unhealthy, I must say, but I just don’t know what to do about it. I honestly believe that, had it not been for my mother, I would have travelled and lived other places. Even though, as a parent, your goal is to raise your children to leave you, she never really subscribed to that. She raised me to be wholly dependent. I still have issues to this day.

In any case, it would just be so nice to have some support for my decisions. Why can’t she do that??