Pretty sure I did not just break my child you asshole

I’ve seen occasional posts on Facebook where people complain about seeing some unknown parent going off on their kid during some outing. Then, everyone commiserates with the original poster about how awful said parent is, blah blah blah. Inevitably, someone brings up the “You Just Broke Your Child. Congratulations.” blog post.

Here’s the thing. I’ve probably been perceived much that way out in public a time or two. I bet, whether you’ll admit it or not, quite a few of you have at least once.

Unfortunately, what those that base their assessment on was only what they see before them in that instant. Not what the rest of life in that family is like. And, sure, the parents may beat the crap out of their kid, I’m not saying that doesn’t happen. I’m saying that there may very well me something else going on instead.

At least in our case, what they most likely neglected to see was that while I do indeed love my children, there are times that mommy simply loses her shit.

Losing your shit is something that’s easy to do when you’ve got a 16 month old that’s trying to pull your shirt off in front of everyone so he can eat and who thinks nothing to hit you – and that kid packs a wallop – and makes the most horrendous screech – like nothing you’ve ever heard before and didn’t know was actually humanly possible – when he’s refused or not responded to fast enough, a three year old that most likely has selective mutism in addition to being truly the most hard-headed child I’ve ever encountered, a five year old that whines excessively – about anything and everything and when he doesn’t get his way, starts barking – or sometimes growling in a way that almost sounds evil – orders to you, and an eleven year old that knows everything and the price of it – and has for a few years now – and there’s just no telling her otherwise…. yeah, it’s hard to imagine why I might yell at them now and then. Especially when we’re out in public and I can’t just send them to their room for awhile, if need be.

It’s especially cute to see these Holier-Than-Thou Moms (HTTM) who claim they never lose their cool concoct stories about how these damnable parents beat their children when no one is looking. *eyeroll* Yeah, because the HTTM have truly spent time with each and every one of these horrible parents to know exactly in what ways they are horrible. Because, apparently, the HTTM have never had a “losing your shit” moment and, naturally, that means no one else ever should. Or – my personal favorite – is when the HTTM has all the answers to what you’re doing wrong, even though she has never even seen you or your children before.

Again, only speaking for myself here, but what the HTTM also don’t see are the games, movies, books, bike rides, walks, playing, parks, and all of the other niceties that our kids get to experience. Or how about the hours spent communicating with the teachers each year of school to make sure that our kids are on par with where they need to be and if not, what we can do about it. Because we love them and care about them.

I’m pretty sure that, at the end of each day, as we tuck them into bed, our kids all know we love them, and to hell with anything else.

Slut shaming?

I guess I’m a bit baffled why so many people – especially women – are okay with a new term that’s been coined: Slut shaming. While I very much get the premise behind it, and agree whole-heartedly that women shouldn’t be shamed for their sexuality, I cannot fathom why so many are getting behind this ridiculous term.

By saying someone has been “slut-shamed”, you are, in essence, calling her a slut. Isn’t that exactly what you’re fighting against?? By using this term, we’re giving more of a backhanded compliment – and that’s the nicest thing I could come up with. We’re telling women that, if you’re a slut, you shouldn’t be shamed. WTF, people?? How have we become so damned stupid? Are we really okay with being called a slut? Are we really okay with our daughters being called sluts?

I’m certainly no prude and I find it insane that, even today, that absurd double standard is still in place. You know the one. It tells us that men can screw around with as many women as they want and even be lauded for it, yet women are expected to keep their legs crossed. I’ve never quite understood how that whole thing even makes sense because, after all, if the women kept their legs crossed, how could those studly men be out showing off their prowess?¬† But, I digress.

Why can’t we instead use something that’s a bit more woman and girl friendly, like sex shamed or something of that nature? Yeah, I realize it’s truly generic and it certainly doesn’t make polite society gasp as they do at the word “slut” being thrown about, but why can’t we think about the underlying message we’re actually sending for once? If we’re truly concerned for our girls, we’ll stop calling them sluts.

Not so thankful Thursday

Wow. Things suck right now.

First our living room TV goes out and we currently do not have the financial ability to replace it – this is devastating to the kids – plus a host of other financial issues, no one wants to pay for the work they’ve ordered from us, etc.

Earlier tonight I went into the laundry room and step right in a puddle of water. From the washer.

I’d ask if it could get worse but I’m sure I already know that answer.

The poor kiddos

Henry was feeling kinda crappy for a couple of days with the sinus crap, most likely due to the ever-changing Indiana weather, although he seems to be back to his old self – feisty as ever.

Calvin also was affected by the weather, although the poor little guy seems to have gotten a double whammy. As if the sinus crap wasn’t bad enough, he’s also teething.

Noah has been extra whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny as of late.

The homework struggles with Ceili Fey have become extremely tiring – we’re not sure if it’s a comprehension problem, a not-wanting-to-follow-instructions problem, or a stubborn problem.

And now, much do our kids’ – and yes, ours, too – detriment, the TV in our living room seems to have finally gone kaput. And, budget-wise, a TV is just not happening right now.

Ugh. We really just need a break.

Obamacare bites

Well, this is awesome. Our current (shitty) company health insurance plan¬† with Medical Mutual is $1,727 a month with a $2,500 single/$7,500 family deductible. We pay 40 or 50% of that, the employee pays the remainder. Just got our quotes in from Anthem. The cheapest one has a $5,000 single/$10,000 family deductible to the tune of $2,192.98. That’s $466.98 more a month than we’re paying right now!!

There are other Anthem options with $2,500 single/$7,500 family deductibles, but those are $2,635.96 and $3,092.73. Oh. Let’s not forget United Healthcare – they came in at a whopping $4,150.06.

There’s no freaking way we can do this. So, congratulations! We’re no longer able to provide insurance for our employees. I suspect that the rates at the exchanges are going to be similar. If that’s the case, whoopee! we can no longer afford insurance for ourselves.

So, I guess sign us up for the penalties then.