I suck at playgroups

So the other day I attended a playgroup and it was a huge flop for me/us. After the introductory greetings/conversation, everyone else pretty well paired off for conversations, leaving me sitting by myself, holding the baby and feeling that oh-so-familiar feeling of odd man out. Though I’ve felt that way much of my life since I’ve always been kinda weird I guess, rejection is not something I usually voluntarily sign on for. I kind of learned to stop putting myself out there because of this but, from time to time I “forget” and have have my delusion that things could be different. I really don’t have much in the line of friends so each time, I really hope that maybe that might be the day I make one. The ending is always the same but, hey, a girl can dream, right?

As if that wasn’t enough, Calvin tried and tried to play but every time he found something to play with, it would get taken from him. I’m pretty sure he was the oldest by quite a bit, as well. He finally tried to play with a little girl who had a ball he so desperately wanted to play with – especially since the one time he got one, it was quickly taken away form him – but every time he’d get close and start to try to play with her with the ball, she would stop and scream, almost as though he were trying to hurt her. I kept looking around, thinking the kid’s mom would surely go to her and try to explain that this little boy wanted to play with her but no such luck…. After a few times of this, Calvin gave up and came back, dejected, to me. He tried to crawl under the chair I was sitting in and it was obvious he was trying not to cry. I asked him if he wanted to call it off because, at this point, I so very much did. Naturally, he did, too.

Now, I’m not unrealistic enough to not see that my kid – one of the oldest there – can be hard to take. He is and I totally get that. He’s basically a poster child for Hyperactivity, which we’re hoping he outgrows but in the meantime, what can you do? He’s super outgoing, very friendly, very boisterous, very inclusive. He’s also pretty easily (emotionally) hurt. So, to him, This. Was. Devastating.

There’s another one coming up but I’m really just not sure I want to bother. I kind of don’t but I feel guilty because the leader reached out to me and I explained some of what happened. She’s invited me to come back and try again but I really just don’t know.

I realize that I sound like Debbie Downer here, though I’m not sure what else I should think. After all, didn’t someone once say that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?



Tell Me About It Tuesday

So far, things are going pretty well. I’ve been reading before going to sleep which seems to give my brain something to do other than fixate on Elias’ death. The problem is I’m pretty exhausted in the morning. Hopefully things will level out soon.

I truly hate interviewing people. I’m currently in the midst of interviewing for a temporary nanny as our new nanny was have a lot of issues with her pregnancy. It appears that she will most likely be having her baby at 25 weeks which would put baby in the NICU for quite some time. I’m very concerned for her and baby. I wish there was something I could to do help. I’ve told her that I’m looking for someone to fill in temporarily, and she seemed to understand.

Someone plowed into one of our work trucks a couple weeks ago. The vehicle is in the shop now, the other insurance company took their sweet time getting the okay to the shop. Hopefully it will be done by Friday. We’ll see.

Henry has been getting better at letting himself out of the bedroom he shares with Noah. This results in him wondering the apartment until we catch up to him and put him back in bed. It’s actually kind of funny.

So, how about you? How is your day/week going so far??

Tell Me About It Tuesday

So far, my day is pretty crappy. No pun intended.

I woke up to both Ceili Fey and Noah in bed with me, counting via whisper every time the lighting would strike. Ugh. All I wanted was a few more minutes of sleep!!

Next, Ceili Fey went to get Henry out of the top bunk. I am terrified when I hear her panicky screams for me to come to the room. I was so sure I was going to find Henry dead. I tell you, once you find one of your children dead, that becomes the all-consuming thought in your brain from that time on. As it turned out, Ceili Fey had fallen down the steps from the top bunk and hurt her leg. Luckily nothing was injured, but it sure set things up for the rest of the day.

Henry has had horrible diarrhea – it’s actually coming out his diapers – all the kids have done is fight, my niece, who was supposed to fill in for our nanny today, informed me via text that she had a “MAJOR headache” and would not be in until later. At that point, I knew it would be pointless so I told her to not worry about coming in at all. I’ve pretty well been run ragged all day, trying to do things at home, plus take care of office things FROM HOME. Ugh. I’ve had enough for one day.

Next we are leaving to have supper at Red Lobster – Noah’s favorite place to eat – with Jon’s parents where they will be taking Ceili Fey to spend the night so that they can make some adjustments on Ceili Fey’s  too-big Halloween costume. Noah assumed he would be going along for that overnight. I felt so bad, I totally crushed him when I told him it was just Ceili Fey, that he would get to go the next time.

I keep hoping that the day will improve, but so far, no good. Let’s hope the improve vastly this evening!

How is your day going??