We know you’re the mom, already

By now, most of you have read the blog entry where the blogger discusses this sign.

My initial, knee jerk reaction was no way in hell! The more I read of her blog and the more I think about it, I’m not so sure. I still don’t believe that such a thing should ever be mandatory – parental rights, anyone? – but I don’t find a kinder, gentler, voluntary process a-okay here.

In the blogger’s case, her daughter is 17. To most of the country, 17 is nearly grown, although, it seems that this mom doesn’t agree. Her attitude more implies ownership of her child(ren) than parentage of them. Perhaps it’s parents like this that the doctor’s office seeks to protect children from. Perhaps that’s why she’s so angry about it all.

Let’s face facts here. Something that I’m betting the mom in question is loathe to do. Most 17 year old (straight) girls have usually had a boyfriend or two. At 17, those boyfriends may be a bit more serious than we’d like them to be. Something they may not want to admit to us.

While I – and most attentive, caring, loving parents – would LOVE to think that kids will come to mom and/or dad with ANYTHING, I, for one, am not living in a dreamworld. I’m fully aware that kids keep things from their parents. All. The. Time.

Perhaps this might sound a bit odd, but I would actually hope that our TRUSTED family care provider that we’ve seen for pretty much my kids’ entire lives would question our kids around that age to make sure that everything is okay, that there’s no abuse going on in their current or previous relationships, etc.

Although, we found out in this case from the mother’s follow up post that it was apparently the case of some overzealous office persons that didn’t have much of a clue.

Let me be very clear about something. I don’t believe such a thing should be mandatory.  I just think it a very good idea for a trusted caregiver to speak in private with kids to be sure there isn’t something mom or dad should know but don’t. And, truly, if you don’t trust your caregiver to do something like that, perhaps you should find a new one.

 

Things are much better

Jon attended my therapy session yesterday… I didn’t initially feel that it went all that well. Apparently it did though because last night we finally talked.

I think he understands that when I was in labor last time, I wanted him right there with me, where he could touch me, and I him. There was a period of time where I was laboring in our garden tub and he was in our bedroom. That wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted him right there. I truly felt as though he had abandoned me, even though he was in the very next room. I don’t think he got that before. He also said he understands that I struggled with depression and that makes things hard for all involved. I also explained to him that, sometimes, at my low points, what I really need is just a hug or a pat on the back or something to let me know that he still cares.

He explained to me that he had felt pretty unloved and unwanted during my labors. He thought I was mean to him. I don’t recall that but I definitely hate that he felt that way. I am going to strive to make this time better.

In any case, I think we’ve come to a better understanding of one another, and of this next birth. I feel like we’re on the same page or at least very close. That’s really all I can ask.