Been a long while…

I know that it’s been some time since I last posted anything. It’s hard, it really is. Between being so busy with life/work/home/family/everything-else, it’s easy to forget just how long it’s been since since posting last.

Henry  turned six the last of January. He had his very first ever birthday party. This is a huge milestone as his Selective Mutism frequently makes things like this impossible. He still does not want to be sung to which doesn’t upset me any. I’ll let you in on a little secret: I HATE singing Happy Birthday or having it sung to me. HATE IT. I find it the most absurd tradition. I’ve never expressed it to my kids, but I’m so not upset by his decision to have everyone refrain. 

On March 4, we hit the fifth anniversary of our son, Elias’, death. For some reason, this one was harder than the last couple have been. I don’t know why, well, maybe I do. I kind of wonder if it might not have something to do with Calvin turning four a few days afterward. There’s something about four… that age that Elias never reached. Well, that and others, but I think the fact that he died so close to his fourth birthday… that just weighs heavily on me. At least we’ve been able to get the other three boys to four – and beyond.

Also in March, Ceili Fey turned 14 which is incredibly hard to believe. It seems like she shouldn’t be just about to start high school.

It’s odd how, after a death like Elias’, time seems to go so slowly, yet so fast at the same time. I’m not sure how to explain it in any other terms. It may be something that is unique to the experience as I’m not sure that other “normal” people experience anything quite like it.

I should really try to post more frequently on here. I feel as though it’s been somewhat therapeutic in the past.

In any case, it’s now quitting time so I need to run. I just wanted to update you on the latest happenings in our lives. I promise I will try to do so more frequently.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Amanda

Thankful Thursday

I thought I’d try a new approach as I’ve been kind of down lately. It’s still very hard to accept the fact that Elias is gone.

In an effort to try to cheer myself, and possibly my readers, up a bit, I thought I would try “Thankful Thursday” in which I will try to come up with something(s) that I am thankful for and then, hopefully, you, in turn, will comment back with things you are thankful for.

Ready? Here goes:

I am thankful that the ultrasound I had earlier in the month seemed to appear normal. I am also thankful for the companionship of my husband and my beautiful children. If it were not for my family, I don’t think I would have survived everything.

Your turn. 🙂

Day Out With Thomas

Yesterday we went to Connersville (Indiana) to the Day Out With Thomas.


My sisters bought us tickets for Elias and Noah’s birthdays back in April. They had such a good time. In addition to the train ride, they had all sorts of activities included with the ticket price, like pony rides, 

a barrel train, 

a petting zoo, 

and more! 

I had no idea just how many activities they had other than the train ride. 

We had originally thought our tickets were for Saturday, but luckily realized in time that they were for Friday! It was nice because it wasn’t too crowded and the lines were not too horribly long. I’d like to take them again next year!

Happy Halloween/Samhain!

Today we had a fantastic feast for Samhain, which we decided to “celebrate” as a nice, low-pressure holiday where we could have everyone to our house since Thanksgiving and Christmas usually result in a great deal of hectic going to everyone else’s house. We had turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, oatmeal cake, and something called pumpkin gob. Everything went great.

Afterward, the kids got ready for Trick or Treating.

Elias started losing it toward the end. He missed an afternoon nap so he was already falling apart somewhat before we even ate. All in all, he held up pretty well.