It’s midnight as I write this. That means that, in several more hours, it’s four years to the moment our son, Elias, died.
Apparently Facebook saw fit to remind me and rub salt in that wound by showing me a “memory” in the form of a picture of him. It just popped up in my feed last night. No, lie, I truly do wish for a slow, painful demise for whatever genius decided it would be a great idea to force you to relive pain in the form of memories on Facebook.
But, this is the day, with or without Facebook. It’s always difficult. Doesn’t really get much easier. You just sort of look for ways to get through it. That’s all you can do.
I’m hoping to soften the blow just a bit this time because several months ago, I bought tickets to Disney on Ice for the family. I guess it’s my way of trying to not have the next several days really suck. After all, Ceili Fey has a birthday on the sixth and Calvin’s is on the seventh. The past few birthdays have kind of sucked for her, especially. Hopefully this will be a great memory for all of the kids.
Well, I’m now the world’s worst mom because I don’t buy mainstream hygiene products. I’m horrible because I buy uncool products that have ingredients I can actually pronounce. Hell, I even sell some so I’m sure that take my uncool factor into the negatives.
Yes, I’m an awful person for actually reading labels and not purchasing shampoos, soaps, lotions, and cosmetics that contain carcinogens or endocrine disrupters. Damn me to hell for caring.
It’s times like this I hate being a parent. Absolutely hate it.
So, on Saturday, we went to The Festival of the Turning Leaves just like every year. Only, this time, we were helping out at a booth for the Farm Heritage Trail – unfortunately, that site is very out-of-date but it still gives an idea. In any case, we were tasked with giving out pamphlets and pencils. The kids enjoyed helping – they all got in on the act! However, Calvin did an outstanding job, as you are about to see.
Saturday we went to see the rideable steam trains.
The kids have a great time. Even waiting in line isn’t too bad when you know what’s coming.