I think some women may think I’m a traitor to feminism. The feminism I embrace is one that does not seem to be “popular” nowadays. The feminism that I embrace is that of accountability, of responsibility. One that I do not seem to encounter much today.
As a woman, I do tend to put women first in things, but that is followed immediately by my belief in human rights. All humans.
I believe that if a woman chooses to become, say, a porn star, that is a choice that she makes of her own accord. To say otherwise is to imply that she’s too stupid or uninformed to comprehend what she’s doing, especially to understand that contract that she’s signing. Since when is feminism about telling women they’re too stupid to understand a contract?? And, really, anyone who knows anything about the adult film industry knows that it’s truly the women who hold the power, but that’s neither here nor there.
I believe that women are responsible for their own pleasure. It is a woman’s responsibility to learn her body, to know it well. Don’t leave it up to a man – or, if you prefer, another woman – know yourself. This is something that I believe society still likes to keep taboo but which I believe that we should talk to our friends, sisters, daughters, about. It is up to us. If we do not know what pleasures us, how do we expect anyone else to??
I believe that Tiger Woods is no different from most any other person who has celebrity thrust upon them. I am convinced that if you take the majority of men – or women, for that matter – and suddenly give them more money than God and people throwing themselves at them, something is bound to happen. People are people, with the same temptations, weakness, and silliness, no matter the gender. I do not believe that “Tiger’s women”, as they have been dubbed, are victims, per se. I am pretty sure that there is something in a woman’s psychology to make them “fall” for a married man, but that is as far as the victim line goes for me. To constantly play on this “victim” mentality is to once again take responsibility and capability out of someone’s hands.
When I hear a woman is raped, my first thought is sorrow and concern for the victim. Why? Because I am a woman and because I know what it is like to be violated. That’s just my nature. I feel the same way on the rare occasion that I hear of a man being raped. The whole Ben Roethlisberger thing has me puzzled. The first rape accusation against him had my knee-jerk reaction of shock and dismay because he seemed like such a decent guy. My husband, being a huge fan, looked into it a bit more and shared his findings with me. It sounded as though the woman was not the most grounded. Now, yes, that could make her an easy target but I’m just not convinced that anything non-consensual happened. I’m on the fence on this one. The most recent accusations against Roethlisberger have me convinced that he’s either a huge ass or he’s a huge moron with a big target painted on him. I don’t presume to know what happened because I wasn’t there. I’m willing to bet you weren’t either. Again, let me be perfectly clear: I honestly don’t know what to believe so I don’t just assume because assumptions don’t do anyone any favors.
Perhaps this gave greater insight to my feminism. I am sure that there are some who will still think that my brand of feminism is wrong. That’s their opinion and my brand of feminism welcomes them to it.