More about me/us
My husband, Jon, and I have five children: Henry, two years; Noah, four; Elias, who died in his sleep Sunday, 4, March 2012, a month before his fourth birthday; Ceili Fey (pronounced kay-lee fay), ten; and Calvin, not quite one.
This blog has most recently become an outlet for me when I don’t know where else to turn after our son’s mysterious and unexpected death. He was affectionately known as Bow (like ‘take a bow’) by those close to him.
Jon is a Professional Land Surveyor (P.L.S.) and formerly a Sergeant in the U.S. Army Reserves. He is fascinated by trains and things that blow up.
I am very grateful for my husband’s support and love, never more so than after the death of our beautiful little boy.
I will be the first to admit that Jon and I are an interesting combination. I’m way more “crunchy” than he is, although he’s come around the tiniest little bit. We’re both pretty conservative politically although far more Libertarian than Republican. On a lot of things we meet halfway, but on some things, we really clash. Luckily we love each other very much and are able to weather just about anything.
I am very passionate about birth and informed consent. I think it’s a crying shame that a woman should ever have to fight to have a vaginal birth. I am very outspoken about this. I have had one cesarean and three VBACs and believe me when I say that my first VBAC was one that I had to fight for all the way (read more about that here). I wound up with PPD and PTSD afterward that really wreaked havoc on the whole family. I know they say that to have a baby so soon after a traumatic birth is a really bad idea, but I think I lucked out there. That birth actually helped to heal me or at least to start me on the road. I think that makes losing Elias even harder because I had to work so hard to put the trauma of his birth behind me and had succeeded some time ago. We had become very close.
I am an advocate for (safe) home birth. Our second youngest was born in water at home. and our youngest was also born at home. They were both wonderful experiences; by far two of the best choices we ever made.
We cloth diaper. I love cloth diapers. I wasn’t sure at first. Jon was very much opposed originally. After we tried it, many of the skin issues our kids had been having went away. We never went back. We originally used prefolds but soon learned that pocket dipes were the way to go, especially with our squirmy offspring. 😉
All of our boys are uncircumcised. I’m proud of that fact. I did a lot of research on it and made the realization that I did not want it done. After spending hours researching the matter, I vehemently oppose circumcision. Another area where Jon and I differ.
I breastfed all of my children. Sadly, it seemed that with three of my kids fate would intervene and prevent the so-near-to-perfect breastfeeding relationship that so many other mothers are able to have. I didn’t go down without a fight though. I actually made it beyond a year with my second youngest and I’m very proud of that fact and so far we’re heading toward a year with our youngest. Things have been far more challenging with him. Luckily our midwife is a board certified lactation consultant. Had it not been for her, I’m certain that I would have thrown in the towel with Calvin. In fact, she diagnosed an oversupply with Henry that could have caused considerable issues with breastfeeding had it not been caught.
Overall, I’d say I have learned a lot from my first child to my fifth, as it to be expected. After I had my oldest, I really thought that I should go against what my instincts were telling me and listen to people who already had one or more children. I believed that even though my gut was telling me to co-sleep, that it was wrong because I was told it was. I believed that when my daughter was inconsolable, that I should still leave her to cry it out because that’s what I was told to do by those who surely knew more than me. Today, I know better and I do better. I listen to my gut about most everything to do with my children. When in doubt, I research. I firmly believe that most of us are born with some basic knowledge about taking care of our children, it’s just a matter of learning to listen to it and having faith in it. I invite you to learn along with me. 🙂