On grieving

Here are some funny things about grief. There’s nothing “normal” about it. It’s frequently ugly, and never is it tied up with a pretty bow. No matter how badly you want it to be. That’s hard on both the one suffering from a loss as well as those who interact with that person because the ones interacting are frequently – though not always – made very uncomfortable by the grief-stricken person.

Grieving people do so differently. You probably won’t grieve the same way I do and vice versa. And, guess what? That’s okay, too. I’ll let you in on a little secret here and it’s that you only think you know how you’d grieve in another’s circumstance.

The death of a child catapults a parent or parents into a totally different world. Everything is the same, yet different.

As long as you’re not harming yourself or others, there’s no wrong way to grieve. None.

Happy 7th birthday, Elias

Today, you would have been 7.

Words cannot convey just how much you are missed on this and all other days. You were taken from us far too soon for no real reason. That just makes it all the harder.

You should have been heading to school with Noah each day, pestering Ceili Fey, going to the library to play Bingo, doing so many things…. So many things you’ll never get to do. Henry still keeps the nickname you gave him. I think he’ll always consider himself Dinky. You’d have loved Calvin, you did like babies. Unfortunately, Henry was too young to remember you but we tell them both about you.

Life goes on but it’s just not fair that it goes on without you.

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The Top 10 Workout Songs for April 2015

The Top 10 Workout Songs for April 2015

Fort Wayne, IN – April 1, 2015 – Spring is in full swing, the weather is warming, and April’s top 10 songs will bring the heat to your workout as well. This month’s picks provide a steady rhythm with most of the mix clocking in between 122 and 130 beats per minute (BPM). Within that range, you’ll find chart returns from both Carly Rae Jepsen and Ricky Martin and the latest from Ariana Grande and Andy Grammar.
On the warm-up and cool down fronts, you’ll find an upbeat tune from Jason Derulo and a remix from Skrillex and Diplo’s Jack Ü side project featuring Missy Elliott. Lastly, while pop and dance hits generally rule the gym, the most popular workout song of the month actually came from Kid Rock. At 132 BPM, the title track from his new album First Kiss is also the fastest song in this month’s playlist.
While some months’ selections vary wildly, April’s favorites make a virtue of their consistency. Along those lines, the mix features plenty of quick tunes, an emphasis on good vibes, and a few surprises to keep things interesting—everything you need to get up and moving.
Here’s the full list, according to votes placed at Run Hundred–the web’s most popular workout music blog.
Jason Derulo – Want to Want Me – 115 BPM
Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You – 122 BPM
Ricky Martin – Adios – 128 BPM
Zedd & Selena Gomez – I Want You to Know – 130 BPM
Madonna – Living for Love (Dirty Pop Remix) – 129 BPM
Ariana Grande – One Last Time – 126 BPM
Deorro & Chris Brown – Five More Hours – 128 BPM
Andy Grammer – Honey, I’m Good. – 123 BPM
Kid Rock – First Kiss – 132 BPM
Jack Ü & Kiesza – Take Ü There (Missy Elliott Remix) – 80 BPM
To find more workout songs, folks can check out the free database at RunHundred.com. Visitors can browse the song selections there by genre, tempo, and era—to find the music that best fits with their particular workout routine.

Contact:
Chris Lawhorn
Run Hundred
Email: mail@runhundred.com
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Well this is awesome

While at an appointment today I learned that my blood pressure was 152/106. Nice, right?

Originally I kinda blew it off – which I was reminded I’d been doing for awhile now. I reminded her that we just passed the anniversary of Elias’ death and still had to make it through his birthday in April. I assured her I’d make an appointment the first of June.

It was also pointed out that the strange low humming noise I was experiencing could in fact be caused by the high reading.

As we were checking out, Ceili Fey remarked about how swollen my hands were. I looked at them and got a bit panicked. They called the NP back out and she thought I was having a panic attack. They sat me in a room and gave me something to help.

I also agreed to start on blood pressure meds. Why the change of heart? Because I flashed back to a couple of days ago when I actually said to myself  – possibly out loud  – “I’m going to stroke out”. No reason for it. The thought just hit me.

I told the nurse that I think the universe was conspiring to make sure I started on meds today.

I know I probably need it – so says the evidence stacked up against me – but damn. I didn’t want this.

*sigh*